Soon...

This summer I really had a lot of fun playing with my camera and taking great photos of  so many wonderful people.  This is one of my favorites, but it is one that I did not take.   My mom took this one of my daughter.  It says so much about who Avery is right now.  

Life is challenging and I am not so "cool" anymore.  I sometimes feel like a Giesha walking 10 steps behind, to allow her the illusion of independence.   She wants to grow up so quickly, yet she still wants to do childish things.  She is caught up between make-up and dress-up.  In fact, I asked her if she wanted to get rid of her Bratz Dolls, as we were cleaning her room this week,  she said "Soon"

I know that soon....I won't be asked to play with her, soon....she won't beg to sleep with me at night, soon.... her friends opinion will matter so much more than mine, soon....so many things will be different.

I find it hard to balance my unbending ways, wanting her to always do and want the right things. It is hard letting her make choices that will allow us to have "teaching moments" when those choices don't turn out how we had hoped.    

I know that soon...I will lose her if I don't give her up.  After holding on so tight for so long, it is hard to let go.  Mt 16:25  If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it.  But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it.  This is not necessarily a sacrifice as in giving your physical life,  but it is certainly what ever is your LIFE.  

She is my life, therefore I need to honestly give her to God.  My response to Him in the past  has been ...soon.  But He has been saying....why not now?